I’ve realized that I haven’t posted much about NewTech lately. Here’s a few snippets of conversation from her from just the past week.
- [referring to the fans located at the front of the store with the little bits of ribbon showing their breeze] Those ribbon things are annoying me. I keep thinking there’s someone waving up front.
- They show how powerful the air flow is.
- No, they do that to warn people that the fan is on, so they don’t stick their fingers in the moving fan. Personally, anyone who sticks their fingers into a moving fan deserves to get their fingers tooken off….
- [reading a text from Eddie] Eddie says it’s horribly warm on the roof, and that he thinks he’s getting a sunburn.
- OOOOH! Tell him to get into the shower immediately and it turns into a tan!
- Hey, did you know that one plus one equals window?
- You need to start putting “by mouth” on these prescriptions.
- And you need to stop being a pain in my left tit.
Someday, I’m going to snap, strangle her with the phone, beat her over the head with one of corporate’s precious workflow baskets, and stab her with a counting spatula. It’s not going to be pretty, but holy shit will it feel awesome.